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7 thoughts about leaving everything behind to follow your dreams

We dreamers have one thing in common: we would give up almost anything to follow our dreams. We would leave everything behind if we had to. Wait, would we really?

 When reality kicks in

In reality, we are just as hesitant to take the big step as anyone else. We live our lives comparing opportunities with habits and making decisions based on loose subjective assumptions. Instead of welcoming every opportunity with open arms, we are hesitant to actually follow them for the most trivial reasons, for example, leaving home.

The typical American lives only 18 miles from mom. Why?

Let’s say we have a big opportunity presented to us that would require us to relocate across the globe. What do we do? Should we really give up everything we have? Give up our job and leave friends, family, partner, kids?

Here are my 7 thoughts:

1. Being afraid of missing out at home.

Every time I visit home, I am surprised how things haven’t changed. It’s basically all the same to the point where I am convinced that I could return at any time and pick up exactly where I left off. Yes, people are a few years older, they might have moved on to a new job or new girlfriend/boyfriend, but that’s about it. Every time I stay home longer than two weeks, I find myself sliding into my old life, old habits, old everything. My best friends who haven’t heard from me in over a year call me as if we just saw each other yesterday.

2. Losing job opportunities.

Let’s be real. When you are gone, you are gone. You will lose 90% of jobs simply because you are gone. Unless you are a unique specialist, most people prefer to work with locals. But here’s the good news: most people prefer to work with locals. Wherever you go, wherever your new place is, chances are there is a job for you waiting, just because you are there.

3. Relationships with clients and friends.

Another surprising find of mine is that being away for a couple of years might seem like a big deal for us, but for some of our clients, especially those who only hire us occasionally, they might not even notice that we were gone. It’s the same with friends. Yes, they will miss us, but let’s hope they also have their own life. For a good, deep friendship, a few years away is nothing. Many of us have childhood friends that we’ve met – wait – 25 years ago.

4. Is it the right thing to do?

This is very easy to answer: I don’t know. You don’t know. There is one simple question to ask: will you spend the rest of your life asking yourself what would have happened if you had done this? If it’s important to you, chances are you will. Not only that, you will find yourself looking for excuses and blaming other people for your failure of not going through with it. And you will start the negative talk to justify everything. I have seen it first hand. It is horrible. Every time I come home, I meet people who tell me how horrible America is and why they would never ever consider living there. How do they know? Most of them have never left Europe.

5. Money Issues.

Often there is a high financial risk involved with any big life change, and the most common reason to not follow through with it is money. There is no point denying that it will be hard to adapt to a new lifestyle. But there is good news. If it’s your dream, there is always a way. If you didn’t know, there are people traveling the world for years and years without any money. It’s possible. Believe me, I have done it too. Doing the big things without having money is a lesson for life.

6. Starting all over again.

First, living in a new place far away from home and surrounded by people with zero expectations can be scary, but it can also be a liberating experience. I was excited to finally design the life I wanted to live, without having to justify anything to anyone. Second, you don’t lose your expertise. I stuck to what I knew, what experiences I have had, and what I’d done in the past. It turned out that I didn’t have to start all over at all. I picked up exactly where I left off. The transition was so smooth that sometimes I didn’t even realize that I had relocated to the other side of the world. Changing locations doesn’t have to mean starting all over again. It literally just means a change of location.

7. Romantic Relationships.

Now this is a very sensitive subject. Can your relationship survive one or two years apart? Do you need to break up? 

Here is my simple observation. First, there is dating. People date. Then they break up. They date again and break up again. Talking about the different people that we have dated over the years is like talking about trying different types of chocolate. The difference is that nobody would make big life-changing decisions based on the flavor of chocolate. Neither should we throw away our dreams for a person that might not even be in our life in a couple of years.

Real, deep, personal connections that go beyond dating are a different story. Would you “break up” with your best friend just because you are leaving for two years? I don’t think so either. If you have found your soulmate, there is no point worrying. You can a) take your partner with you, b) skype every day, c) fly back and forth frequently. If all that’s not for you, there’s still no need to worry. Take a break and go see other people. If you think you’ve found the love of your life, it will still be there in two or three years. If not, I would reconsider your definition of “love of my life”.

Every time I do something big and scary, something that I’ve never done before, something that I thought I would never be capable of doing, the world gets smaller and easier to handle. For me, jumping on a plane at LAX, arriving in London, and then taking another flight to Vienna literally feels like catching the metro to get home. No big deal at all.

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How to live the dream without being a millionaire

All of us grew up with a very simple assumption: If you want to live the dream, you need money, lots of money. The Internet is full of “successful” gurus, selling eBooks about how to finally make enough money to live “the good life.” And, damn, does what they have look good. Sport-cars in the garage, a mansion in Beverly Hills, and a yacht full of the most beautiful girls (or guys) that you can imagine. We are somewhat disgusted by the superficiality of it all, but damn, this is what it looks like to be living the dream!

Look beneath the surface

I live in Los Angeles, and there is one thing that we all have in common: the dream of money and fame, or a little simpler, “living the dream.” Most of us are suffering, and can barely survive, but whenever we hang out and have fun, we claim that we are “living the dream.” Are we?

In reality, most of us Angelenos live maybe 5% of the dream that we had when we came to Hollywood. Somehow, we didn’t get the big gig, the big connection didn’t work out in the way we thought, but we got used to it and made it work anyway. Or maybe it did work out, but our dream job turned out to be so stressful and demanding that we simply want to throw it all away just to finally get some sleep. And we are the lucky ones.

Most people who come to LA have to leave after a few weeks or months, because they run out of money. Living the dream is expensive. You can’t live a millionaire lifestyle if you don’t actually have millions, right?

I’d say, not quite. And here is why.

Stop chasing rabbits

Everyone’s expectations of a dream life is different. But, for some reason, most of us are chasing after the same luxurious lifestyle that we see on TV. Why?

The answer is very simple: Many of us don’t really know what we actually want, so we follow the shiny objects. Every day, we are bombarded by one very specific version of a dream life that is all about having more than everyone else. And yes, I know, we artists, we dreamers, we think that we are different. We think that we know our dreams, but the truth is that even we are bound to patterns and images of “the good life” that often have nothing to do with what we actually, really want.

I came to Hollywood convinced that my biggest dream was to see my name on the credits of a 200 million-dollar movie. But what kind of dream is that? Having my name on something? How does this have anything to do with living the life of my dreams?

Be amazing

The truth is: all the glitz and glamour that many of us work toward, in whatever shape or form, really has nothing to do with actually “living the dream.” Most of the time, “living the dream” is nothing more than a deep desire to be accepted and appreciated as a person.

All that we really want is for the world to know us and to talk about how amazing we are. We want the people that surround us to be in awe of our achievements, we want them to look up to us and say, “Wow, you are amazing. I want to be like you.”

Yes, it helps to accumulate a lot of money, or to be really good and successful at something, to be recognized as an outstanding and incredible person, but there are other ways to get there. For example, simply being an outstanding and incredible person.

But what if that is not enough? What is the life that we dream about? What would our very own personal dream actually look like?

Here is what we can do

Money can’t buy happiness. Still, we would probably change quite a lot in our lives if we had – say – 150 million dollars in the bank. Let’s just pretend for a few minutes that we have that money. Now, what would our life look like? Take a piece of paper and write down your perfect day. If you’d wake up tomorrow at the perfect place, with 150 million dollars in the bank, what would you do tomorrow? What kind of breakfast would you have? Who would you hang out with? What would you do all day?

The result is the life that you actually want to live, if you are honest with yourself.

This exercise changed my life.

Design your personal dream life

If I had 150 million dollars in the bank, I realized that I would not sit in a recording studio 14 hours a day. I would be in the studio maybe 3 hours a day, working on something truly outstanding that only I could do.

The next day, I started to live the life I had written down. I made it work as much as I could. I got up early, took a long walk in the woods, had the nicest breakfast I could imagine, went back to the studio for only 3 hours to totally get lost in a creative idea, met some friends for coffee in the afternoon, watched a movie in the evening and went to bed early. The next day, I went to the beach.

I have been following this specific schedule more or less for over a year now, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I am living the life of my dreams. No fancy cars, no naked girls, no yachts or servants; instead: relaxed days, meaningful friendships, and fulfilling activities.

It is a strange thing to actually live the life I dreamed about, instead of working toward something that would eventually make it possible to do just that… in some far away future.  

living the dream

Take it from the fisherman

It’s like the story of the fisherman, who relaxes on his small boat, happy with his life. Asked by a tourist why he doesn’t go out again to catch even more fish, so that he can make more money to then buy a bigger ship to catch more fish to make even more money, he responds:

“And then? What would I do then?”

The tourist replies, “And then, when you are really successful, you can finally sit down and relax.”

To which the fisherman responds, “This is exactly what I am doing now.”

We don’t actually need to go through all of the trouble to be the most rich and successful person if, in the end, all that we want is to sit down, relax, and enjoy our life.

The only reason we do that is because we like being liked, we want to be loved, the more the better. We want to be more amazing, more incredible, more outstanding than everyone else. We want to live like Angelina Jolie or the Kardashians or other celebrities that we adore (In my case, some sound engineers that nobody knows about). But why? Because they are respected and everybody loves them.

You are amazing

If you had 5 of your closest friends telling you sincerely how amazing you are, on a regular basis, wouldn’t that be better than having an extra thousand dollars per month?

Yes, we can spend our life on this planet accumulating enough wealth and/or skills to finally become that person we can look up to. Or we can start being that person right now, by simply doing what we love, being who we want to be, and living the life we want to live. We can start today, with our small circle of friends, to treat each other with the same respect and admiration that we have toward Angelina Jolie, the Kardashians, or anyone else who we look up to.

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How to live within your means – 10 tips on saving money now

Let’s be honest: Most artists are poor. Yes, there are a lot of people out there who make a ton of money doing what they love, but we are not one of them. If we could, we would live paycheck to paycheck, but the truth is, there is no paycheck at the end of the month. And there is one question that keeps us up at night: how long can we keep going like this?

Saving money is crucial

How long can we afford to be artists, dreamers, doing what we love? Many people give up on their dreams because they realize that they just can’t afford to live the life they want to live. Being an artist is a commitment for life, and there is usually nothing coming back until we are almost halfway through it. Can you wait for the payout until half your life is over?

I think I can.

But how can we afford to live like this without a side job or any regular income? Well, it turns out that there is a very simple rule:

The more money we spend, the less we have. It’s that simple. If we spend more money than we make, we will never have any.

Now as an artist, there is a problem with making more. In many cases, it takes decades to become good enough to actually charge a decent rate. Nobody is going to pay $800 a day for something that just isn’t good enough yet. So, for the time being, in the decades it needs for us to become competitive artists, we only have one choice to keep going: spend less.

Here is what we can do

Here is a list of the 10 most important things I do on a daily basis to save money. Without them, I would not be where I am and I would not do what I do. I would have given up a long time ago.

1. Stop spending your money the minute you get it.

Many of us won’t admit it, but we actually like to be poor. We like to struggle, that’s what artists do. We are used to it, it’s a habit. And like any other habit, it is hard to change. Whenever money comes in, we make sure that it goes out of the door as quickly as possible. It is an obsession that we can’t control. I got a payout of $1000 dollars a few weeks ago. Not only have I thought about 250 things that I could spend it on, it also makes me weirdly uncomfortable to have that much money in my bank account. Also – I kid you not – I am worried that it might just not be there anymore tomorrow. It sounds ridiculous, but we need to get used to having money.

2. Only buy what’s absolutely necessary.

There is a difference between “nice to have” and “I need this to do a good job and develop as an artist”.

3. Sell what you don’t use.

If I haven’t used something in two months, there is no point keeping it. “maybe I’ll need it in the future” is an expensive excuse to keep something around that we don’t need and can’t afford.

4. Buy used.

We don’t need the newest tool. We need what works. Let’s spend some extra time on eBay, Amazon etc. to find what we need for half the price. I have not bought any new equipment, phones etc. in many years, and saved thousands of dollars that way.

5. Avoid loans and credit cards.

We are dreamers, but we are not stupid. We understand that there is no actual difference between paying $30 a month for 40 months or paying $1200 now. Let’s not fall into the trap of buying things that we can’t actually afford, unless we can’t live without them. If we can’t afford $1200 now we shouldn’t commit to paying it, period. Loans, Credit Cards, payment plans etc. are a very easy way for companies to sell expensive products that we don’t need. As a result, half the world has become slaves in a never ending circle of working to pay off bills for things that they couldn’t afford and didn’t really need in the first place.

6. Eat cheap.

When we go out and order food or drinks, we can be more considerate. No, we don’t only eat at home and become nomads. Instead, we look at the menu more carefully and order one of the cheaper items and a glass of water. I know, we have worked hard, we have earned our night out without thinking too much about the costs. But really? We have struggled so hard for an extra portion of shrimps and an organic chai latte? EVERY TIME I go out with friends I pay half of what they pay. Coincidence?

7. Don’t buy what you want, buy what you need.

From now on, “I really want this” is not a reason anymore to get something. The only reason is “I really need this”. We don’t need to get the premium extra 30 TV channels or another monthly subscription of really anything.

8. Always research cheaper options.

EVERY TIME I am about to spend money, I take at least 15 minutes to research if there is a cheaper option that would still give me what I want. My friends want to see a movie and spend $14.99. I spend $1.50 and take them with me. Yes, I do want to see the newest Transformers movie RIGHT NOW. But you know what, for $13.49 I am happy to wait two weeks. Following a hype is expensive and not necessary.

9. Limit your lifestyle.

I don’t need to live alone. Yes, it would be nice, comfortable and probably appropriate for a 31 year old man to live alone (or with a partner), but the amount of money I save on rent every month by living in a shared apartment gives me the freedom to go on as a freelancer. Living alone in a nice apartment for two years equals living in a shared apartment for 3 or 4 years. That means two more years to develop as an artist and become better at what we do.

10 Treat what you do as a business.

If we ever want to actually have money, we need to learn how to make it, handle it and keep it. Essentially, we need to occasionally take a step back from our precious art and simply run a profitable business. This includes, for example, not spending a week on a job that pays $50. It also means looking at every “opportunity” as an investment of our time and energy if we don’t get paid. Any investment needs to be well thought through and in line with the general direction and goal we are working towards. If it doesn’t match, a simple NO is always a very professional answer.  

Stop believing in fairies and miracles

Now: what if all this just doesn’t matter because we suddenly land the gig of a lifetime and make millions of dollars?

Let’s be honest:

The hope to get discovered and the dream of overnight success is the number one reason why many of us artists just don’t care about money. We believe in miracles. But should we really make our life dependent on something that is less likely to happen than winning the lottery? In reality, 98% of us are not as talented or lucky as we think we are.

Spending less money is hard in the world we live in. All the values we live up to are somehow connected to financial wealth. It is not only difficult to not make as much money as everyone else, it is even harder to spend less than everyone else. The whole world wants us to spend money. Let’s just flow against the flow for once. We are artists, we are dreamers, we can do that!

Do you follow any of these suggestions already? Do you have any other experiences that help spend less money? Let me know in the comments!

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Why taking time off won’t kill your job (and will make you a better artist)

Are you working all the time? Many of us dreamers do. Not only because we usually have ten deadlines and nine people expecting results yesterday. We do it because we love what we do. But that comes at a price.

Loving what we do …

Last Friday I looked back at the week and realized that I hadn’t gotten anything done. I had tried to push through, but it didn’t really work. I was having a hard time focussing and at the end of the day, my only result was that I had finally scrolled for long enough to reach the end of Facebook.

So what happened?

The answer is actually very simple. I hadn’t taken a day off in over two weeks. I was simply tired and exhausted. On top of that, I had pushed through a last minute pitch for a Disney commercial and the first reactions were positive enough to keep my mind spinning all week (“What would I do with all that money and fame?!”). All in all, the perfect cocktail for not getting anything done and being a lazy loser for a week.

Now we artists, we dreamers, we all get writer’s block. Accepting it for what it is and doing something else is often the best way to deal with it. But really? Is this really writer’s block? Being tired, lazy and distracted?

… can be a burden

Last week was a perfect throwback to how I used to live my life: Not enough sleep, no time off, and constant “big opportunities” that kept my head spinning about how this gig will finally get me somewhere. This is the simple result of loving what we do. We can’t stop thinking about it and we want to do it ALL THE TIME. 

I don’t live like that anymore and here is why: Working on a regular schedule makes me more productive, more creative and happier overall. Getting enough sleep and downtime lets my body adjust. I am less tired and more active.

Yes, we do what we love. We don’t think of it as work, but do we really not need a break?

How many days have we tried to focus, but just couldn’t, because we were too damn tired? How many days and weeks did we do what we love without actually loving it because of insane pressure and sleepless nights? And don’t we sometimes get better results by just stepping back for a bit, looking at it again the next day, making a few quick fixes and being done with it?

Here is what we can do about it

I take one or two days a week and try very hard to keep them free. I schedule time to do something different than what I do the rest of the week. I also tend to leave my phone and computer turned off that day.

Surrounded by committed, hard-working artists, and demanding clients, it can be hard to do this. The right communication is crucial here. Instead of talking about ourselves and our much needed time off, we can focus on outcomes and talk about solutions.

Of course I get emails and requests the evening before that day. “Can you do this tomorrow?” My old reliable and always available self would have responded within 5 minutes: “Absolutely”. Now I respond within three hours. “How urgent is this? I am not sure that I can do this tomorrow. Would it be okay for you if I send it to you on [insert any day that is not tomorrow]?” It took me more than ten years to build the courage to send out such a simple email. And you know what? Nine out of ten times the extra day is totally fine.

Additionally, being organized and having to schedule tasks in advance is what professionals do. As long as we treat our day off the same way we treat a decently paid all-day gig it will work just fine.

I work in one of the most competitive industries (music) in one of the most competitive cities of the world (Los Angeles) and I am doing just fine with scheduling time off. To be quite honest with you, I might even have an advantage over everyone else who is running around like chicken chasing the next big opportunity.

We are not lazy, we don’t take time off because we hate our job. We do it because it is the easiest and most effective way for us to be more focussed, productive and creative during the rest of the week.

I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this. Please let me know in the comments!

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You may say…

We artists are dreamers. We have devoted our lives to the creation of ideas, to make the world a better place. We have committed to not giving up, to try and try and try, every day again. We have decided to be different, to take risks, to ask questions, to express ourselves, and not be silent. But most and foremost: we have pledged to love. We do what we love, we love what we do, and we demand to be loved for what we do.

I’m a dreamer…

Every day, I have to explain myself to an outside world that does not seem to understand. Why am I not getting a real job? What am I even doing all day? I am in my thirties and I still don’t have a job, a family, a house, a car, a life? What is wrong with me?

This blog is devoted to all of us and our daily struggle. This is what I would have needed, starting out as an artist. I was a 10 year old kid when i started playing violin. When I was 14 I got my own guitar, started writing songs, founded my own band, and began producing music. When I finally got out of school, there was no other choice than devoting my life to music.

I had been broke my whole life, nevertheless, at some point I decided to pack my things, get a visa, and move across the globe to Hollywood. That is where the real struggle began and where it is about to end. These days I turn on the TV and hear my own music playing; I get calls from Disney when they need a title song for a new show. And in between all the Hollywood craziness, I am trying to live the life I want to live, be the person I want to be, do the things I want to do.

… But I’m not the only one

In this blog I will share all that with you, my fellow dreamers. Every day I am trying to find new ways to live my life to it’s fullest potential; to do the things that I never thought would be possible. I research and test uncommon ways of living in order to not only be successful, but also be happy. I am humbled to share my experiences with other fellow dreamers on this blog and encourage you to share your experiences with me and the world. Here, on this blog, we talk about everything.

Do you have anything that is on your mind that you want me to write about? Comment below or send me your thoughts to jonas@wearedreamers.blog. With a a lot of mutual love, and hopefully heated discussions, we can grow together and create a community that shares the drive of creativity, the urge to express ourselves, and the aspiration to live a life worth living.

Here are some of the headlines I will be writing about:

  • You are doing what? How about getting a real job?
  • Can I charge money for doing what I love?
  • How much we should charge and a little reality check.
  • When am I finally good enough to become really successful?
  • The truth about being successful and why having talent is not enough.
  • Why taking the weekend off won’t kill your career (and will make you a better artist).
  • How to live within our means – a few thoughts about (not) spending money.
  • How long we should wait for inspiration and why we never get stuff done.
  • Being reliable vs. being flexible.
  • How much networking do we really need?
  • Why “trying hard” will not get us anywhere but “doing hard” will.
  • Why we need mentors and where to find them.
  • The difference between a successful business and a successful artist.
  • What we can learn from millionaires.
  • When to leave our bedroom and get the real jobs.
  • Working from home or better not?
  • When to stop learning and finally charge real money.
  • About the difference between being a “big shot” and actually being successful.
  • Why 90% of the projects in Hollywood never happen and what that means for us.
  • How to find out if my art is actually any good and if that’s important.
  • Some thoughts about “living the dream”, based on real-life experience.
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